Who came up with Breastfeeding week? I wonder if they get the whole picture. You see those boobs on our chest? We have a very interesting relationship with them. I know biologically they are blobs of fat but listen up, they are so central to our womanhood its crazy.
First off, they signal we are becoming not a child. It is not a small hidden thing like deep voice or hormonal change… Noooooo It is there for everybody to see and comment on and fear and try to touch.
Fear is what it starts us off at. How do we hide them inside our uniforms? Do we change uniforms? Wear a T shirt inside, or a vest. What do the boys think. They are judging the girl with big ones. Making fun of boob tops and bras. But also liking the not a child girl more at the same time. Sigh…
Then at some point we discover the boys really like the blob of fat on our chest. Acceptance time yipeee. Now to perk, prance, prop and pop them. Of course, at the chagrin of our parents, envy of our peers and delight of the pimply confused muted boys. Those with small ones are stressed, the big ones are only worried about how to display them in the school shirt.
Get to college and the toys are officially out to play. You dress them how you want, grown men want to play with them and are falling over themselves just to stare. Is that some form of regressed kababa development or what? But anyway, the toys get a few things done and moving.
All this while, we have not looked at them as food. That Precious almost mandatory obligation we have to do to make sure the species survives. They say exclusively for 6 months, almost like another pregnancy. Sigh. I do not know who sat on this health board that decided this. Surely, women are doing everything from getting judged for not producing enough milk, pumping milk in all odd places. Like a pump. Yaani it’s a pump fixed to electricity to remove milk from you. Like a dairy cow. I wonder what we can pump from men daily for equality.
I do not know if you know, but that pregnancy is beautiful & nursing is divine is something that not every woman experiences. It is not easy when another human being is living inside you, kicking your vital organs, eating your nutrients, and sucking the nerves and fluids at their convenience anywhere and everywhere. It is also very un-sexy. The body gets beat for real and the stories we tell ourselves sometimes even we do not believe. All this self-talk and action and tools like corsets and mekako soap (there is this guy Abe who says this) may or may not help us believe it.
But these men, who are they? They want to enjoy from day one, smash then bash in the middle and run away towards the end to the beginning of the food chain. I always picture their big heads suckling aggressively at age 3 months as they lift that one leg and put their hands to play with the other nipple at age one. I recoil when it comes to memory the first 2 weeks of breastfeeding, The pain. It was as if someone was sucking all my nerves through the breast. For most, we have to take painkillers and use all means to soothe the wounds left behind every hour of breastfeeding.
The after math. I hear they are called samosas. Bloody bure sana. Self esteem affected by the same gravity and work put in to nurture into strong humans these little ones now turned judgmental men of our boobs. But issokei, issorait we shall go back to self-talk tu. Just don’t ask us to come on top. We are tayad and battered by boobs. Because Breastfeeding is more than about the baby. It is about Us too. It is mostly about Us.
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